We decided that with summer blockbuster season over, it was time to look to the future. Fall movie season doesn’t have the same allure as a Dark Knight release, but this is the time of year when the directors seeking higher marks drop some knowledge on the public. Some of these are comedies, some are dramas, and some might just be up for an Oscar come February.
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September 5th
Bangkok Dangerous MISS
Nicolas Cage is a dirty, long-haired American assassin. Right there you should be thinking: haven’t you done enough Nicolas Cage? Let’s look at your last three movies, shall we: Ghost Rider, Next, and a sequel to National Treasure. I’m sorry, your acting privledges have been revoked.
You will not find a man in this movie theater unless he is handcuffed to his girlfriend’s wrist. From what we can tell, it’s Sex and the City plus 10 years older. Not even the prospect of Eva Mendes in lingerie can make up for the Meg Ryan – Annette Benning – Candice Bergen trifecta which has been scientifically proven to make libido's cease working for weeks. For those forced into it, we feel your pain.
Instead of letting your girl pick the movie this weekend, you choose one you’ll both enjoy. The new Cohen Brothers flick is about a gym worker (Pitt) who finds a CD with CIA secrets when cleaning up. He blackmails the agent, tongue-in-cheek hilarity ensues. All star cast that both sexes will enjoy and enough dark humor to make even a Minnesota boy crack a smile.
Or as it’s more commonly known, “Heat 2”, puts Pacino and DeNiro back on screen together as old cops tracking a killer who puts criminals who get thru court on ice. Both the guys look like walking corpses, but we’ve got a good feeling about this one. Calling it now – this year’s Departed.
Samuel L Jackson’s last movie in the theaters was Jumper, and anyone who claims that on their resume is a sad sad person. Looking at youRachel Bilson. So we were glad to see Samuel L was back where he should be, not sucking. He plays a LAPD cop who hates his new neighbors and lets them know it. A few of you moving into new houses can maybe relate to sucky neighbors – hopefully they aren’t cops.
We don’t know what to think about this one. It has the usual ingredients of a Dane Cook comedy: hot chick, dorky friend, and he plays a slacker douche. Whether you think comedian or joke-stealing hack, it’s hard to disregard the fact that Cook has quite a following. Plus Alec Baldwin makes an appearance, so his comic timing may save the film entirely. Or he’ll just be on the ship as it crashes to the same ocean floor where every copy of Employee of the Month sits.
We love the BBC version of The Office. It’s original, it’s witty, and it stars Ricky Gervias who is pretty hilarious. Unfortunately, he’s been thrown in with “actors” Greg Kinnear and Tea Leoni who only my mother would find humorous. And he talks with ghosts. All we've seen is the trailer, but it's enough to know that this movie is to entertainment as a plastic bag over your head is to respiration. Don’t bother.
There isn’t much out about this one yet, but it’s going to be big. People are already talking firsttime Oscar-buzz for longtime director Spike Lee. Following a WWII troops behind Nazi lines in Italy as an aging postal worker tries to explain why he blew a guy away in public. Plus, Lee told Clint Eastwood he should “shut his face” at a press conference in Cannes, so that’s awesome.
After Indiana Jones 4, I have a hard time trusting Steven Spielberg. And I never trusted Shia LaDouche. So while this one has a lot of big names attached, we doubt the script is going to be amazing. But we’re looking to get noticed in a big way, so if Shia LeBouf’s publicist reads this, call me. We're more marketable than that punk.
Adapted from best-selling author Chuck Palahniuk, famous with the frat crew for penning Fight Club. This one appears just as dark, just as humorous, with an added appeal of a sex addiction, I think we’ve got a winner. IMDB is calling it one of the best trailers of the year, we’re going to have to agree.
Richard Gere. Diane Laine. Life-changing romance between the two as their stuck in a North Carolina inn during a storm. Vomit in my mouth. I liked this movie better when they were already married and Diane Laine had the affair with the painter. This just looks like The Notebook for our parent’s generation.
Speaking of The Notebook, Rachel McAdams has a new one out next month where she plays an Iraq vet home on leave. She meets up with Michael Pena and Tim Robbins, as they travel cross-country seeing life has gone on without them. Should be a better clue into returning soldiers than the shirtless-trash that was MTV Film’s Stop-Loss. But we’re still not sure.
So don’t be so sad that summer is almost over. Soon you’ll be drinking beer with your whole crew, tossing the pigkin, and hopefully… catching some pretty tight flicks. Be sure to check back next month for our October preview where we’ll look at Oliver Stone desperately seeking an Oscar, Guy Ritchie desperately seeking a new hit, and Drew Barrymore desperately seeking a job.
